<\/p>\n
Winter is a time of regrouping, revisioning, renewing as we are asked to go inwards and assess what is working and what is not, at the same time rest. Over the last weeks I have witnessed many couples fighting more than usual, separating or contemplating separation. One of the key factors missing in staying connected and creating a secure functioning relationship\u00a0is understanding how to:<\/p>\n
1. Keep each other safe \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a02. Stay connected daily These are only a few!<\/p>\n The missing information, is its\u00a0not personal, it is psychobiological.<\/p>\n How do you trigger your partner off? As Stan Tatkin author of ‘Wired for Love’\u00a0puts it<\/p>\n “There are\u00a0No Angels, No Devils in relationships”\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n If your partner is an\u00a0Island (Avoidant) do you give them an escape route when you ask them to connect, or demand they hop off their island immediately? Key:<\/strong> Give them an escape route: i.e. “When you are ready…” “I don’t want to stop you from what you are doing but before you go could you hug me”\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n The reality is Islands need an OUT (as they are auto-regulators – I do me) and need an exit route to be available.<\/p>\n If your partner is a Wave (Anxious\/Angry-Resistant) and reject your praise, feedback do you retreat or approach them with loving words? Key:\u00a0<\/strong>Go towards them with loving words, even if they reject them!<\/p>\n Waves (external regulators – you do me)\u00a0need an IN i.e.\u00a0loving words, as their greatest fear is to be abandoned and rejected. But here’s the key a wave attachment style will reject the first loving words just to see if you can hold them, then if you approach again they soften.<\/p>\n We are complex yet so simple when we develop a manual, from a psychobiological approach, on each other!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u00a0Soothing Each Others Nervous System in Relationship by Brenda Sutherland Winter is a time of regrouping, revisioning, renewing as we are asked to go inwards and assess what is working and what is not, at the same time rest. Over the last weeks I have witnessed many couples fighting more than usual, separating or […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":11945,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[19,20],"class_list":["post-11939","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","tag-attachment-styles","tag-relationships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/awakening.theteamserver.com\/lms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11939","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/awakening.theteamserver.com\/lms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/awakening.theteamserver.com\/lms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/awakening.theteamserver.com\/lms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/awakening.theteamserver.com\/lms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11939"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/awakening.theteamserver.com\/lms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11939\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/awakening.theteamserver.com\/lms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11945"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/awakening.theteamserver.com\/lms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11939"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/awakening.theteamserver.com\/lms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11939"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/awakening.theteamserver.com\/lms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11939"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n3. Soothe each others nervous system \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 4. Misreading cues
\n5. Identify each others attachment styles \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a06. Protect\u00a0vulnerabilities
\n7. Manage Thirds (Competing Forces) \u00a0 \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n